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Body confidence?

I’m on holiday at the moment visiting family and its summer, so I’ve been spending lots of my time sunbathing and swimming; that means I’ve been wearing bikinis; a thing that one year ago I would not do, I personally would not say I am more confident in my body but I think I was more or less pressured into wearing a two piece. 

I am not a fan of my body, I don’t have a thigh gap or probounced hip bones and you can’t see my ribs, my collarbones are only just visible; the past summer (English summer) I went on Holliday and that was the first time I had worn a bikini (14 years old) I felt very self conscious and uncomfortable; but I was still went to the beach and in the pool; that made me feel very proud. Now I’ve never delt with anorexia or bulimia but a couple of times I have tried to make myself sick after eating, it was too painful and I didn’t; I tried to throw up my food so I would look ‘perfect’ in a bikini. 

The amount of pressure put on society to look a certain way is unbelievable and that there are so many people that are so unhappy with the way they look that they denie them selfs one of the neceitiss of life, it makes me truly sad. I know we will most likely never live in a society where ALL body types are accepted but I truly hope we are getting closer. There is nothing wrong with being thin; there is also nothing wrong with being larger; in the end it comes down to metabolic rate, a person with a faster metabolism will be naturally thinner where as a person with a slower metabolism will be naturally larger; and it cannot be helped. 

This holiday I have been feeling more comfortable with my body; I don’t love it but I can stand to be seen in a bikini by my family and that for me is a big step forward. 

I know this was a bit of a rant and didn’t really have much of a point; it’s just that body confidence had been on my mind a lot recently.

If any of you have delt with body confidence issues please leave how you have coped with them in the comments and hopefully people still struggling can use your tips. 

thank you for reading!

The small quiet one X

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