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A lil update

Hello again!

For once, it actually hasn’t been thaaaaaaat long since my last post.

Since that post i have unfortunately had to return to sixth form, how does summer always fly by so fast! As you may know, i took chemistry, biology, geography and Spanish for Alevel last year, and everything was going relatively well, except for chemistry. I cant’t remember how much detail i went into about the situation, but chemistry is certainly not my forte as i have since found out. I pretty much stayed consistently between a C and E grade throughout year 12, which isn’t really ideal to say the least. It also took up a huge amount of my time between lessons, homework and independent study. I think this also started to have an impact on my other classes, as in our end of year mocks i got a B in geography and biology and an A in Spanish, which isn’t bad, but i spent most of my time revising for chemistry, yet only came out of mocks with an E. I feel as though if i hadn’t had to stress so much about chemistry, then maybe i could have done a little better in my other subjects. It also feels like such a waste of my time and effort to get an E after i really did try my hardest, so i was super disappointed . I think chemistry really wore me down and was starting to make me really hate going to school because i knew i wouldn’t understand anything, and that i probably would end up failing my A level. Because of all of this, i have dropped chemistry, and oh my god is it a relief. I don’t think i had quite realized how much it was affecting my mental health and the way i felt about school. I now have more time to fully apply myself to my other subjects, and i don’t feel as awful about going to sixth form anymore.

It was a really hard decision to make, as i was worried i was closing doors on myself; especially with respect to choosing a degree, as for a lot of science based degrees you need two sciences at A level to even be considered. Luckily iv’e found a couple of different routes that i can take that don’t require chemistry. My current favorite is therapeutic radiography, which only requires one science! If any of you are in a situation similar to mine, and really can’t cope anymore, there really is no shame in cutting back on a subject. I’m beyond happy with the decision i made. Obviously if your really set on a set degree/apprenticeship/job that has strict requirements, then try to stick it out, maybe ask your teachers for extra help, or even try tutoring if you can (although i think that can get pretty pricey).

Unfortunately, despite having gotten rid of the bane of my existence, a new enemy has come along in the form of the geography NEA (Non examined assessment), which is basically just coursework from hell on steroids. It really does suck, and since this is the first the exam boards have done this, my teachers aren’t really aren’t sure of what is expected from us. We all have to choose our own question to investigate, which can be related to absolutely anything in the syllabus; which sounds pretty nice; but i just found it incredibly scary as its so open and easy to choose a dead end question that then makes the rest of the project even worse.

In other news, iv’e recently been absolutely LOVING an artist called Billie Eilish, she recently released an EP with her brother called ‘don’t smile at me’, and its amazing! If you haven’t listened to her yet then you definitely should. Her voice is incredible, and shes only 15! I think people have said shes pretty similar to Halsey or Lorde, so if your into that kind of music then you’ll definitely like her! She’s actually playing a show in London in November, but i was too slow and sadly i didn’t manage to get tickets, but next time she does a show in the UK i’m definitely going! I just need to force my friends to listen to her music too.

Thank you for reading!

The small quiet one X

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Music festival fun!

Hi! 

So over a weekend, I spent 5 days camping in a field in England for a big music festival, and honestly I had a wonderful time!

Camping has never really been my thing, I discovered that while partaking in Duke of Edinburgh with my school in year 10/11, however; when I’m actually getting something out of it (seeing Halsey live) it’s actually much more bearable than I originally thought. The friend I went with has a pretty nice tent and it’s one of those easy set up tents which was a blessing, I’m not sure if I could have coped with the nightmare I went through putting up a normal tent on DofE, it was a real struggle. Since we were pretty late arriving to the campsite we didn’t have much choise about where to set up our tent so we ended up right next to the path, which is not ideal when your trying to sleep and thousands or drunk or high teenagers are walking past all through the night; it’s safe to say we got fallen on an awful lot (those awful god foresaken guy ropes that do nothing but nearly kill you at 2 in the morning certainly did not help). I’m a crazy deep sleeper though so I didn’t find out about our tent being crushed until the next morning when my friend asked me how the hell it didn’t wake me up. 

On the first day of the festival we saw a band called the Amazons, nether me of my friend new who they were but they were pretty good! I also saw Anne Marie, who opened for Ed Sheeran when I saw him in May, she was amazing and has such a good energy, plus all her songs are super catchy! Then at the main stage we saw two door cinema club, Bastille (who were incredible btw) and Kasabien. On day 2 there wasn’t anyone that either me or my friend were too desperate to see so we stayed in the comedy tent for a while which was good fun, and also a welcome break from all the standing 😂. We saw King No One who are a pretty small band, but they are really good and their set was really fun. Then at the main stage we saw Major Lazer and then Eminem, they were both really fun sets even though I don’t know many songs by either of them, although you best believe I screamed ‘moms spaghetti’ with force during Eminem. I was most excited for day three though because Halsey way playing, as anticipated, she was INCREDIBLE, she played songs from both her albums, and its safe to say I was on cloud 9 the whole time. The hunna also played a (not so) secret set during the day which was really good, but we also went to see them headlining one of the smaller stages and again they were brilliant! 

For having been my first time camping at a music festival I think it went really well and I had sooooo much fun! However obviously you have to be careful and there is so much room for things to go wrong, lucky for us no one broke into our tent and we left the campsite with all our belongings. There’s also the vast amount of people at these festivals that are either very drunk or very high, and all of my belongings did absolutely stink of weed by the end of the festival, however I didn’t have any problems with anyone really, we had a few people come up to us and ask if we were selling anything etc, but other than that people do pretty much just stay within their groups and personally I didn’t feel scared or intimidated at any point. 

Just a few notes for anyone who may be going to a music festival soon or even next summer: 

1. Don’t forget to pack a swimming costume and flip flops for the showers! I completely forgot and since the showers are completely communal, I had to resort to lots of baby wipes and a water bottle hair wash/shower 😂 (not gonna lie though it did work pretty well and we didn’t have to wait in the massively long shower line).

2. The toilets (especially in the campsite) are honestly vile, I gagged every time I set foot in one, and let me tell you that by the 3rd or 4th day they really do reek, at the festival I went to there was also no toilet paper or sinks/hand sanitiser, so definitely remember to bring lots, I had already anticipated this thankfully! Also as much as being near the toilets may seem convenient when setting up your tent on the first day (when the toilets don’t smell like a rotting corpse), don’t do it, you will regret it later. Me and my friend set up our tent pretty far from the toilets (thank god) but oh how I feel for those who had set up within a 20 meter radius of the toilets. 

3. If your a female then there is a chance that you may be on your period during a music festivals. I was one of those unlucky gals, and although I could’ve cried at the thought of having to spend even a mere second more than necessary in those ghastly toilets, it is manageable and it can be done, I promise!

4. If you want to actually sleep, I suggest not setting up your tent near any of the main paths, and also bring ear plugs and an eye mask 😂

5. Don’t bring anything valuable that you won’t be able to have on you at all times! Fanny packs are the way foreward tbh 😂

Thank you for reading!

The small quiet one X

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Music festival prep! 

Hi! 

So in a couple of weeks time I’m going to be heading off to a music festival for 5 days of camping (3 days of actual festival, 1 day either side for set up/packing away). I’ve never acually camped at a music festival before but I’m SUUUUUUUPER excited!! Basically this post is going to be a list of the things I plan on taking with me, so hopefully this may be useful to any of you that are also going to a festival this summer, or you could let me know if I’ve left out anything vital! 

I’m travelling to the venue by train which means I’m going to have to try and get all my stuff to fit into my camping bag (thanks DofE).

Me and my friend are going to be sharing her tent, so that’s one less thing for me to worry about at least! 

General suff

  • Tent
  • Sleeping bag
  • Ground mat
  • Ticket 
  • Portable phone charger 
  • Torch & batteries
  • Camping chair (if I can actually be bothered to carry it on the day)
  • Bin bags 
  • Water bottle 
  • Blanket 
  • Cash & card
  • ID

Toiletries 

  • Wet wipes (and lots of them too😂) 
  • Toilet roll 
  • Toothbrush and toothpaste 
  • Mini shampoo and conditioner (if I actually brave the showers only time will tell, and if not, for a delightfull hair wash using my friend and a water bottle) 
  • Sunscreen (provided it’s not pissing it down the whole weekend)
  • Plasters
  • Dry shampoo (incase the showers really are shocking or if the queue is really long)
  • Pain killers and hay fever tablets
  • Hair brush & hair bands 
  • Hand sanitiser 

Clothing 

  • 3 snazzy outfits for the actual festival days 
  • Jogging bottoms/leggings for return day
  • Rain coat because England 
  • Wellies because England 
  • Trainers that I’ll probably already have on 
  • Flip flops (again… incase I decide to brave the showers) 
  • Sweatshirt for the evenings 
  • Underwear
  • Sleep wear (possibly even thermals lmao I get cold easily)
  • Might even take a wooly hat to stop heat loss in the night 😂
  • Sun hat/sun glasses
  • Lots and lots of socks 
  • Bum bag (livin that hands free life) 
  • GLITTER 

I’ve also heard it’s a good idea to take vaporub to put under your nose before entering the toilets because they are RANK. So I may also end up doing that 😂 one trip to the loo at Vfest was enough to scar me for life so we’ll see how I cope with 5 days 😭

This list is pretty long so I’m not sure if I’ll actaually be able to make everything fit in my bag, but at least having a list seems to have silenced the constant nagging of ‘your going to forget everything and probably die’… for now; I’m sure it will come back with a vengeance once I’m in a field in the middle of nowhere (mild exaggeration, there’s a town like 20 minutes walk from the venue). The fact that there is a town so close is a pretty big comfort though as if I do end up forgetting something, then I can always just buy it from the nearest Tesco. I also haven’t included any food on my list as me and my friend are planning on just buying some cereal bars and snacks on our way to the camp site to avoid having to carry the extra weight for our entire journey there. And although food and drink is going to be expensive inside the arena… I do not trust myself with a single use barbecue and potential food poisoning. 

Thank you for reading!

The small quiet one X 

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A long overdue catch up

Hello friends!

As usual, there has been a pretty big gap in posts, unfortunately I’ve been super busy since i had A-level mock exams all this week which have been stressing me out for quite a while. I had my last 2 mocks yesterday so i have today off which is so nice! And tomorrow my school has set up a career orientated day with lots of talks and stuff.

I feel as though most of my mocks didn’t really go as well as i would have liked, especially physical geography, which has actually been going pretty well up until now which is so frustrating. I revised all of the topics as best as i could, and the second i started trying to answer the questions i completely forgot everything. Its so frustrating as i spent so much time revising, and in the end none of it was worth it. Chemistry was also a bit of a flop, but i didn’t really expect much else from chemistry, especially since I’ve been struggling so much with it recently. My human geography, Spanish and biology exams were slightly more successful, although I’m still not sure if I’m actually going to hit any of my target grades.

I’ve been trying really hard to try not to let mocks get me down, but I’m just finding it so hard to let it go, i feel like I’ve really let myself down. I got so incredibly stressed last week and i got to the point of just wanting to give up, I’m pretty sure the stress caused me to get ill as i spent a few days feeling very nauseous and headachey, although every mock or exam season i seem to get ill, which makes sitting in a gross exam hall for an hour and a half very unpleasant.

The pressure to start making career and university decisions is also getting pretty intense which I’m not too keen on. I still don’t have a clue what i want to do, what subject to study and where i want to go for university. Unfortunately i haven’t had much time to go to open days due to revision, and lots of open days actually collided with my mocks which was pretty inconvenient. Iv’e been to one open day so far, but all of the subject talks got full super quickly so i didn’t really get much of an idea on that front. I think i may be going to another open day this weekend, but again, most of the talks are already full, so iv’e just had to book the subjects that aren’t really what i was aiming for, but still mildly related :’) .

Other than all the horrible exam and future stress, which thankfully is now overrrrrrrr, all is well. Halsey and Lorde released new albums, which are both incredible! And, as i mentioned in my last post, I WENT TO SEE ED SHEERAN!! Being the dedicated fan i am, i got in the line at 6:30 am and managed to get 24th in the queue! My friend joined me in line a few hours later as she had an interview first thing in the morning. The opening acts were Ryan McMullan and Anne Marie, i had never hear of Ryan before, but he was really good! I also really enjoyed Anne Marie’s set, especially as i already know quite a few of her songs, she was also super funny. Obviously Ed Sheeran was incredible and being front row made the whole experience completely unforgettable.

Now if you follow Ed Sheeran, you may also know he was doing another show in London on June 22nd as part of the O2 arena’s 10th anniversary celebration, I didn’t manage to get tickets for this show as he only posted about it on twitter, which i didn’t have at the time (I learnt my lesson and made a twitter account) and resale tickets were going for over £200, which as much i love Ed Sheeran, was not going to happen. However literally 2 days before the concert i went back onto the resale site and they had dropped the prices of all the remaining tickets down to the original price, and so i bought 2 tickets! Unfortunately my friend couldn’t get the day off from work, so my mum came along instead as shes also a big fan of Ed Sheeran. Again, i woke up super early to go the the venue and i got there for 7:30 and i was 18th in line! (my mum had work and also didn’t want to be far forward out of fear of being squished) The two groups of girls in front of me in the line were lovely, so i sat and talked to them for the day. The opening act was a DJ/singer called Fuse ODG, he was really fun and his music was really up beat. And yet again, Ed Sheeran was incredible.

I cant believe i got so lucky and was able to go and see  Ed Sheeran twice in the space of a few weeks, but i am so unbelievably happy and all those hours in line was absolutely worth it!! In addition Fred got us tickets to see Lorde in September for the Melodrama tour, which i am super excited for! I’ve never seen Lorde live before, but Fred has, and apparently she is great!

I’m so sorry that my posts are always so inconsistent and i also haven’t really been able to keep up with everyone else blogs, but I’m trying to catch up at the moment! Now that school stress has calmed down a bit, hopefully ill be able to blog more often and do posts that are a bit more structured and about something other than concerts! (I apologies if music and concerts aren’t your cup of tea seeing as that’s the only constant in any of my blog posts!)

Thank you for reading!

The small quiet one X

 

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Alevels & music

Hello lovely people!

Iv’e been desperate to write a post for a while, but i haven’t had the time. Sixth form is still exhausting, the last two weeks seem to have been particularly difficult for some reason. Chemistry is still a hell lesson, i am so behind and confused constantly it’s so frustrating, not to mention the fact that Butt Crack just seems to understand everything instantly and I’m sat next to her not even sure if our teacher is speaking in English. Other than chemistry, my other subjects are going pretty well, biology is quite hard work but i enjoy it and my class is so fun, I’m also so glad i chose to do geography, and Spanish is pretty fun.

I’m really trying to make grades mean less to me as i have a tendency to really obsess and put all of my self worth into test results, which is pretty awful when your getting D’s in Chemistry. I also focus a lot more on how badly i do rather than the things I’m doing well in. Like, i will very quickly get over the A in Geography or Biology, and just put it down to the test being easy. But then when i get a D or an E in Chemistry it really makes me miserable, it becomes all i can think of and it makes me feel like such a failure. Hopefully i can start actually learning and moving foreword from tests, and use that as motivation to do better next time, instead of letting it upset me and make me want to quit.

As you all know (and are probably very sick of hearing about), Ed Sheeran’s new album came out last week, it is sooooooo good! I love all of the songs so much, but my favorites are probably eraser, happier, hearts don’t break around here and castle on the hill. I can’t explain how much Ed Sheeran’s music means to me, I’ve been a massive fan for around 6 years now, and his music has helped me get through some really tough times. I’m so proud of how well he’s done, the first time i saw him live it was in a tiny venue in London and i was sat pretty far back and we were still so close, yet only a few years later he sold out Wembley Stadium three days in a row. I am so excited and grateful that i was lucky enough to get tickets to see him this May, i cannot wait to see what he does this time, he is the most incredible performer. Other news in music also, Halsey has said that she will be releasing an Album in June, which i can’t wait for either! and hopefully there will also be a new Melanie Martinez album before the end of the year!

This summer i am also really hoping to go to Reading festival with a few of my friends, the line up seems pretty good, and Halsey is going to be performing which i am very happy about since she had to cancel her set at Vfestival last year. It would be the first time i go camping at a music festival which is super exciting and it will be so much fun! I just need to find a way to make enough money to pay for the ticket! I know a lot of people think that i got to too many concerts and that I’m wasting my money, but honestly i find that concerts are the moments in my life where i feel at my happiest and most relaxed. Its so easy to forget about how all the small things that sit on my shoulders and weigh me down, while I’m belting out the lyrics to the songs that i relate to and that have a meaning to me. Its a feeling that i miss from the second i leave the venue. I love being able to escape from reality and be in a bubble of joy and excitement for those few hours.

Sorry this post is so random!

Thank you for reading!

The small quiet one X

 

 

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2016 

Hello!

So this post, although a bit overdue, is going to be reminiscing on the last year.

Overall I think that 2016 was a bit of a dodgy year for everyone, especially in regards to politics. Personally however, I think 2016 was decent, it definitely wasn’t the best year but looking back there are a lot of moments and memories that I will cherish forever.

In 2016 I was lucky enough to see quite a few concerts, music is a massive part of my life and I honestly don’t know what I would do without it. Being able to see the people behind the beautiful lyrics is amazing, their songs have made the painful moments more bearable and others have made the brilliant moments have an great soundtrack. I always have such a feeling of freedom during concerts, being able to scream along to every word, dance like a crazy person and just be the most care free I’ve ever been; all the while surrounded by people who feel exactly the same as me, it’s incredible. 

It’s so crazy to think that in 2016 I revised my butt off, sat my GCSE’s and got my results, that all seems like such a distant memory. I am still very pleased with my GCSE results and I’m so glad that all my revision payed off, I’m still not sure how I managed to pull of an A in maths though. GCSE’s were a rollercoaster of stress, but at the end of it I had the most wonderful night at my prom and a delightful extra long summer holiday, which definitely made all the revision worth it. I had such a wonderful summer and I spent a lot of it with my friends which was lovely, especially since many of us parted ways in September when some people went to different sixth forms. 

Obviously I also started sixth form in 2016, so far it’s just been extremely stressful. However there are a few perks- no more uniform is a pretty great one, free periods are also good fun, but having the option to leave the school grounds to get food, or just leave early if my lessons are done for the day, has got to be my favourite. I also made some new friends in 2016 as our classes are now much smaller, but also a mixture of all the forms (years 7-11 my lessons were almost exclusively a mixture of only 3 or 4 forms and there are 8 forms in total) so a lot of people I only knew of because I would walk past them every now and then, are people I see every day and spend a lot of time with, I think this has been quite nice as I think my year group as a whole, has become a lot closer.

I think a pretty big one is… I survived. There have been points during this year where I’ve felt like giving up, where things have fallen apart and where I’ve slipped back into bad ways of thinking. I know this is pretty obvious looking back at my posts throughout this year. I’m proud of making it this far, and actually being able to feel proud for getting here, there were so many moments where I was so unhappy that I honestly didn’t want to be alive anymore, but I got through it. I’ve gotten stronger and I think that I’ve gotten the voices under control a little bit more. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

2017 I think has gotten off to a good start. I spent New Year with my family in Argentina and has such an amazing time, despite the humidity being at like 80% and my hair refusing to cooperate. Also I’m living for the return of Ed Sheeran, I haven’t been okay since he posted that bloody blue square on instagram, I LOVE the new singles and I cannot wait until March 3rd for the new album! 

I ALSO MANAGED TO GET PRESALE TICKETS TO SEE HIM IN CONCERT OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m going with my friend Abby who I went to see Ed Sheeran with in like June/July 2015, although this year we’re going to be standing which I’m beyond excited about. So far I’ve never been standing at an Ed Sheeran concert, but I think standing is going to be much more fun and the atmosphere is amazing in standing from what I’ve experienced at other concerts. This will be my 4th time seeing Ed Sheeran live, and I’m losing my mind, I cannot believe how lucky I was to manage to get tickets. I cannot explain how amazing he is live oh my god, I can already feel how amazing this new album is going to be, and I know me and Abby are going to be messes throughout; I say this because I literally sobbed when I heard ‘castle on the hill’. 

Sixth form is still a bit of a struggle, I’m drowning in homework and tests and revision, but I am really enjoying most of my subjects (bar chemistry which is a literal nightmare). I love that I get to but all of my energy into these subjects which I actually want to do, rather than spending hours worrying about maths or drama or English, when they are subjects that I have not interest in. I’m definitely struggling to get back into the rhythm of independent study etc… after Christmas, but I’m slowly getting there.

I am very sorry for the lack of posts (as usual), but things have been pretty hectic lately, but I am trying, and I really do want to keep blogging and hopefully I’ll start posting more regularly at some point.

Thank you for reading!

The small quiet one X

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